As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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