I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
