Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize