Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize