need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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