I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
