only you would photoshop your dick
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
