I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
