she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
