He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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