I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I can tuck mytits in my pants
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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