I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
