can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
