we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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