No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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