Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
