Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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