please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
