I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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