Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
