Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
