I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
