well I can't set my house on fire every night
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
