i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
