fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
