Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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