So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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