I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
