I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize