three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
