my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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