eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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