At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
