i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize