You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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