$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
