Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
