He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
