Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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