I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
