Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
