He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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