how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
