i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
