Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
