I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
