hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just invented taco cereal.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
