shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
