$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize