I think i peed on brittanys purse
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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