so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
