I think i peed on brittanys purse
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
