hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
