Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
