I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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