I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
zippers are such a cool invention
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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