From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
