let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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