Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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