i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize