You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Alive.
So much puke
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
