also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
