So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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