the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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