Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
