im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
