I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
