I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
