he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
