I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
they're like a gay fantastic four
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
