i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
