One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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