You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
tell me about the eggs
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
