everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
