I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
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