Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
