Pants 0. Shit 1.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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