my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
