I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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