Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
