You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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