I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
