Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
