This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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